"Once in every nighttime, someone comes around. "
- "I'm coming to get you." - No.
"There's someone that makes sleeping difficult. "
"Cassie."
"I'm coming."
Who's there?
- "The Tickle Monster." - No.
"That's right, Sylvester Stallone is the Tickle Monster."
"I'm gonna tickle you."
"What?" "I'm gonna tickle you."
"What?" "I'm gonna tickle you!"
Daddy, help.
I'm here, Cassie. Unhand my daughter, Tickle Monster.
Oh, hand-to-hand.
- Look, over there. - Go, Daddy, go.
"Oh, dear."
- Is she still up? - Yeah.
Yeah, I just gave her a warm bath...
...and now she's more wide-awake than I am.
She won't be so sharp for her big meeting tomorrow.
- Good night, sweetie. - Night, Mommy.
Well, if I can get Carl to sleep in the next 10 minutes...
...you might still have a shot tonight. - Use a mallet if you have to.
- Daddy? - Yeah, baby?
I'm never gonna get married.
Why not? It's not as bad as it looks.
Because I always want to live here with you.
Well, you know, one day, you're gonna grow up...
...meet a wonderful guy, and you're gonna get married.
But you and I will always be best friends.
Good night, Cassie.
Dad, could you be any more of a dork?
Cassie, you know where this girl lives or you just think you know?
I know where, I just know one way to get there.
- And you refuse to go that way. - Because it's a stupid way.
- lf you consider getting there stupid. - Why don't you use the navigation?
Because Sacajawea back there doesn't know the name of the street.
She knows it as "the one next to the one with the fountain."
Hey, Dad, Cassie just gave you the finger.
If we don't find this house in two minutes...
- There it is. - Okay, honey...
...hurry up, go get your friend.
- Jerk. - I heard that.
Good.
- Where are they? - She just left.
Okay.
Which friend is this, the nice one?
You used to know all her friends.
- You were funny and charming. - Well, she's 15.
She doesn't want me to be charming. She finds it creepy.
Oh, no.
It's the too-nice one.
Hi, thanks for inviting me.
Any friend of Cassie's is always welcome.
We're a little late.
Remember, congratulate Todd on the Alpine soda merger...
...tell him the house looks great, work in his outfit.
- Maybe he smells nice. - Lick his face?
No, don't touch him. Don't shake his hand.
- Oh, right, Mr. Stupid-Germ-Phobia. - Yeah.
There they are, old Bob Bobcat.
- Teabag. - Hi, Todd.
Hi. Hi.
Well, congratulations on Alpine soda.
- Bob said you'd do it. - Yeah.
God, Jamie, if my ex-wife looked as good as you...
...I'd still be in the middle of a horrible marriage.
Thank you, Todd. What a lovely compliment.
Oh, there's Laird.
Laird.
- So that's the young hotshot? - Yeah.
Harvard M.B.A. We're planning to kill him.
Do you want in?
- Cassie. - There he is.
Laird. You know what'd be great? You going to get me shrimp.
I'm not joking.
Cass, go say hi to Todd.
- What for? - He likes you. I'll give you 20 bucks.
Can I come? I read all about him online.
Okay.
Hi, Mr. Mallory. Good to see you again.
- Oh, Cassie Munro. - Little Cassie?
Wow, you turned into quite the young lady.
This is my friend, Gretchen.
- Hi, Gretch. - Hi.
Aren't you the one who got Pure Vibe sodas into the schools?
That was me. Cassie's dad helped, he's head of Corporate Relations...
...but I am el presidente.
Wow, so you're, like, personally responsible...
...for destroying the health of millions of children.
- Gretchen. - I probably wouldn't put it that way.
Obesity, diabetes, cholesterol.
The fat of our youth is on your hands. Wallow in it.
Thank you, I had a very nice time.
Keep it real.
Don't.
Yo, homeslice, can you chill on the def jam?
You're boiling my vibe.
Respect.
Cass, can we talk?
- God, what? - Nothing. My bad.
Father evil. Forgot that.
How you doing, are you all right?
- No, not really. - Why don't you get that skin peel?
Feels like that. Cassie was so abrasive...
Oh, Bob just came in. Let me call you back. My sister.
- Did you talk to Cassie? - Yeah, I tried.
Still bleeding a little bit.
She didn't know Gretchen was gonna do that.
She didn't know her friend was gonna throw a vat of schmaltz on my boss.
Wine or martini?
- Both, with a Prozac back. - Okay.
Remember when it used to be "Daddy's home"? Now nothing.
We watch TV in four separate rooms...
...and we IM each other when dinner's ready.
Well, then let's change things.
Let's start while we're in Hawaii.
No laptop, no BlackBerry, no business calls.
- Let's really go. - No what?
You're not gonna see them for the rest of the summer.
- Carl's got camp... - Yeah.
Cassie's got college prep in Palo Alto, I know.
That's right, and they leave the day after we get back.
It'll be the same in Hawaii. They'll only call us when they need money.
Well, I'm glad we're going. And don't worry so much about work.
Todd loves you. You're indispensable.
I'm afraid not.
I think Laird's gonna get my job. He's younger, smarter, cheaper.
What did you say?
Nothing.
Here you go.
To true love.
- Hawaii's gonna be great. - Yeah.
You gotta cancel Hawaii.
- Why? - We hit a snag in the Alpine merger.
- Since yesterday? - One brother got seller's remorse.
- Garry. - Larry.
Garry's still for it. Show him some money...
...he'll quack like a duck. Larry's nervous.
If I tell my wife we're not going to Hawaii, bury me ass-up.
You have a place to park your bike.
- Bob. - Todd.
Bob. Bob, this crisis has actually saved your job.
- Really? - After yesterday...
...I figured I gotta fire you to maintain some respect around here.
But in light of this Alpine thing...
...I still need you. - Bless you, Todd.
I gotta run out there and make a presentation.
I can write the presentation in Hawaii and zap it to you.
Laird can write me a presentation. If I tell him to, he'll live in the office.
He'll shower in the damn water cooler.
But you've got one thing he hasn't got.
- A soul. - No, you're good in a meeting.
You've got the chutzpah.
So I want you to write that presentation...
...and I need you at the meeting to put this thing over.
- Yeah. - So no Hawaii.
- No. - Boulder, Colorado, Friday.
Just move your Hawaii dates.
The kids are booked the rest of the summer.
- You have to go to Boulder. - Agreed.
I want you to know, after the divorce, I'm coming after Jamie hard.
Bring jewelry.
Hey, if you get Jamie, can I have Elaine?
- You want Elaine? - Better than nothing.
Trust me, it's not better.
Elaine is still mad at me for taking that vacation last year.
Figures that's why I didn't get that promotion.
- Oh, the RV trip. - RV trip?
Oh, the famous RV trip. Oh, can we see the pictures again?
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Nobody move.
Did you rent that RV?
Mom, some idiot just parked this ugly RV outside our house.
What?
Oh, my God, it's your husband.
- Oh, hi. - What is that?
- It's an RV. - And why is it in front of our house?
- We're taking it on vacation. - To Hawaii?
- No, it doesn't float. Colorado. - What happened to Hawaii?
Come on, Hawaii's a winter destination. It's summer.
The place I'm taking you is special, and not like Uncle Mike.
It's Lake Nirvana, where I went with my parents as a kid.
Is he being funny? Because I can never tell.
Oh, come on. You've always wanted to camp, right?
This is what he came up with to punish me for Gretchen.
I was gonna surf. Nice one, Dad. Thanks.
The hotel in Hawaii has a weight room.
Doesn't anybody respect my lifting schedule?
We're not campers. We don't camp.
- Why not? - Why..? Why not?
- For one thing, we like to shower. - Well, it's got a shower.
You and I will go out right now and take a shower.
Bob, do you know where you stay when you take an RV trip?
- Where? - RV camps.
Honey, try to remember, we're not friendly.
In Hawaii, we'll never see the kids.
This way, we can spend time with them.
You need to spend time with them.
I spend nine hours a day with them. And I want Hawaii.
All right, we'll go to Hawaii.
At Christmas. Then it will just be us and a lot of Jewish people.
- We'll have all the ham to ourselves. - I'll have to cook.
No, you won't, because I'll cook every night, every meal.
We were gonna take naps. Hotel room, afternoon...
...lock-the-door naps. - Oh, the good naps.
- How are we gonna do that in an RV? - I'll drive slowly.
- I was gonna get a massage. - I'll give you a massage.
You're gonna do all the cooking, give me massages.
And spend time with the kids.
You got it.
Did you cancel our Hawaii trip because Todd told you to?
Did you volunteer us for some sort of experiment?
The family travels around and drinks nothing but Pure Vibe soda...
...see if our teeth fall out?
Honey, I'm running out of time with my kids.
Come on, baby. Why don't you come out in the wilderness...
...with your big, brawny man?
Don't make me call for my mail-order bride.
Bob.
Here's something your genius husband probably overlooked.
Four miles to the gallon?
Gee, why don't we just stay home and set fire to an oil field.
There's an elegant touch.
Or we could just travel around in clown suits.
I spent the night with my head in the toilet. I'm sure it's contagious.
All right, no more details. Just e-mail me the new proposal.
- That's my couch. Move. - Make me.
- This seat's better, anyway. - Whatever.
Welcome aboard, everybody. Before we embark...
...I think we should give this beauty a name. Suggestions?
The Big Turd.
The Big Rolling Turd.
In that spirit, we set forth.
Make it so, Number One.
Honey, are you sure know how to..?
- Honey? - Trust me, okay?
Thanks.
Oh, my God.
- Honey, honey. - What?
- Oh, tree. - Yeah, it's all right.
Honey?
Honey. Honey.
Oh, my God.
- We're okay. - Honey.
Honey, tree! Tree!
Honey, honey.
- Honey. - Okay.
Anything else you want to hit?
Do you want to go back? We missed the neighbor's cat.
You are 31 hours from your destination.
- What's that? - RoadMate 700.
- I call her "Lola." - Make a right in 100 feet.
Thank you, Lola.
She's accurate to within 10 feet.
- Go straight. - No, Lola says take a right.
- Well, mall traffic. Go straight. - Fifty feet.
- Yeah, but she said take a right. - Well, I'm telling you to go straight.
Twenty feet.
- Choose. - Baby, please.
- Turn right. - Choose.
- Dad! - Turn right.
My bad.
- You are 30 hours and 59 minutes... - Turn her off.
- from your destination.
Say, Dad, this is interesting.
"Unsecured items in an unlatched cabinet...
...are a recipe for disaster." Didn't you read this?
No, I was too busy thinking of all the ways we're gonna have fun.
Dad, somebody's stealing the RV.
No, Carl. Nobody's stealing it...
...it's rolling backwards with no one in it.
Oh, yeah. Well, my bad.
Yeah, well, yeah.
- Thanks, Saul. - Irv.
- Not "Saul."
I don't know where I got Saul.
Well, thanks.
- Good news. - I'm adopted?
Good one. No, thanks to my technically proficient...
...and charmingly amusing description, Saul...
- Irv. - Irv, yeah. Irv the dealer...
...said we damaged the parking-gear interlock and the emergency brake.
We had that little mishap, you know, when Mom distracted me...
...we were pulling out of the driveway?
But the driving brakes, the ones we use when we're moving...
...they're fine. They're not just fine, they're brilliant.
All we have to do is every time we park...
...we have to put two big blocks under the rear wheel.
We'll be perfect. Thanks for the help. Okay, everybody, come on.
It'll be fun, let's go. Miles and smiles.
This is the worst I've ever been treated.
- Wait till you get married. - Thank you.
Everybody, let's get aboard the Big Rolling Turd.
That was easy.
Now what do we do?
Hey, I know, let's go to the beach and go surfing.
Wait a minute, I forgot. We're not in Hawaii.
We're where NASA faked the moon landing.
Wait a minute.
Wait till you see this. It's called a "pop-out."
Hold on.
Wow, where are you?
- How cool is that? - Macarena cool.
Hey.
You guys want to see a movie? But where?
Forgive my ignorance, but don't you need to hook up...
...the Big Rolling Turd to the electricity for that?
Yes, I do.
I gotta take a crap. Time to break in the pooper.
You are so disgusting.
Dad! The toilet's backed up!
Carl, what did you eat?
Dad, it's not mine.
There's the problem, sewage tank is overflowing.
And it's not even our sewage, it's leftover.
It's not a national emergency.
We'll go to where you dump the sewage...
...and we'll dump the dump. Come on, let's all go.
As appealing as that sounds, I think I'm gonna pass. But thank you.
And don't forget, you're making dinner.
Sure, I'd love to clean somebody else's crap out of the RV...
...instead of being in Hawaii.
Can I come?
Not only can you come, you can dump the sewage.
- Really? - Yeah.
It's gonna be a regular Field of Dreams moment, buddy.
Piece of cake.
- Gonna be a while, mister? - Oh, well, that depends.
If I can get this hose attached to this outlet...
...I'll be right out of here.
- What's the dealie? - Guy needs to attach a hose.
Doing it.
- What's up? - Trying to attach a hose.
- Fella here's trying to hook up a hose. - Maybe get on the loudspeaker.
That there's the wrong hose. It's that there one.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- It's got the coupling. - Right.
That one right there.
- There you go. - Okay.
You need another hose.
Yeah, I guess, but...
It's long enough, but:
Gotta get one of them bayonet couplings.
- He hasn't got one. - He's got a Y-coupling right there.
Yeah, that'll do the trick.
Y-coupling?
A Y-coupling.
That's the Y. Oh, I see.
- One potato. - Alrighty.
Two potato.
- Okay, wait, oh. - There we go.
Listen, I'm no expert in waste management...
...but won't the fecal matter come out the top hole there?
No, you just gotta hold it up in the air like this:
There you go. Little bit higher. There you go.
- Oh, like that there. - There you go.
You sure this is gonna work?
Heck, yeah, man. It's basic hydraulics.
Okay, Archimedes.
Hey, Joe Joe.
- Okay. - Let her rip.
Turn it off!
- That sure didn't work. - No.
- We need a hose spreader. - Who's got one?
Gornicke, I think. I'll get it.
- I'll get some music. - Oh, no, please.
And some of those tortilla chips.
- We got some leftover sausages. - Bring them.
No, you folks don't need to have a parade. I don't want to impose.
Oh, no, no.
We are gonna get this fixed up for you, buddy.
Sausages.
- Right here, you want one? - Yeah.
There we go. That'll work.
You sure this will hold?
Hey, man, why would they sell you a hose spreader...
...if you couldn't spread the hose?
It's getting old. Come on.
Open it up, Joe Joe.
It's blocked. I'll flush the line.
- Hey, Dad. - Son.
Maybe now is the time to confess to you that...
...your dad's not the master of all things.
I got that when you started taking advice from morons.
Yeah. All we need is a banjo.
Oh, man. He didn't even open it up all the way.
- See? No worries. - Yup.
- Hello. - Bob.
Hey, Todd. Yeah, I'm still pretty sick.
- Where's my presentation? - Presentation?
It's the best work I've done, not to toot my own horn...
- Yeah, you'll have it Thursday morning. - Thursday?
No, that's not soon enough. Tomorrow will be great.
Oh, I gotta go.
Oh, dude, that is nasty.
Don't worry, I'll get another hose.
Fire in the hole!
Here's where you made your critical mistake.
You listened to anything Howie and Joe Joe said.
Nice boys, but they're a couple pliers short of a tool chest.
They're not the ones covered in fecal matter.
That's a good point.
Travis Gornicke.
Bob Munro.
Yeah, let's postpone that handshake...
...till we get you cleaned up. - Yeah.
You're clean enough to use your own shower, Bob.
The vehicle's all cleaned up, Daddy.
- Oh, nice work, son. - Thank you, boys.
- You're welcome. - No problem, Mr. Munro.
- Look, can I offer you a... - No, Bob, wouldn't think of it.
- We're neighbors. - Mom wants to know...
What happened to you?
He was covered in turd.
Oh, I know the feeling.
Mom wants to know when you're cooking dinner.
You tell your mother when I'm good and ready, that's when.
- I'll tell her. - Tell her I'm good and ready.
Well, thanks.
Hey, pleasure hosing you down, Bob.
- Ditto. - Why can't they have dinner with us?
You know, aside from the stink, I don't see why not.
Why don't you come on over? Tuesday's meatloaf.
Then afterwards, we can sit around and watch Ernest Goes to Jail.
- It is funny. - Well, it's a classic.
- Yeah, we'll make a whole night of it. - I wish I could.
I promised my family I'd make my special dish...
...shish kebob. - Oh, that's good.
- Well, another time, then. - Yeah, try to keep me away.
Okay.
Carl!
- Honey, how's it going? - Great, baby.
Okay, well, how long? Because we're starving.
Four hours. Maybe longer if you keep asking.
- What? - It's a small oven...
...and I'm having to do the potatoes with a hair dryer set on "high."
Hey, who wants to go to a party?
- Here we are. Hope we're not late. - No!
- Well, Bob said we were invited. - Yeah.
- Of course you were. - Then here we are.
- We're hungry. - All right!
- Mary Jo, our company's here. - What company?
The ones that are close enough to hear you yelling, darling.
- Well, hi. - Hi.
Honey, help me.
- I've got you here, darling. - Here you go.
Let's see. Earl and Billy you met.
- Hi, I'm Earl. - And I'm not.
My wife, Mary Jo, and my daughter, Moon.
Hey, y'all.
Well, Moon, that's kind of a hippie name, like Moon, Rainbow, Bong.
She was named after Warren Moon.
He was quarterback of the Houston Oilers.
Well, this is my wife, Jamie.
Cassie, my daughter. My son, Carl.
Named after Karl Marx...
...socialist, some would say the father of modern communism.
As I'm throwing up with the blood pouring out of my eyes, you know...
...I looked up and I said, "Who is that lovely?"
Next day, we were married in Juárez.
Nine months later... out popped Earl.
So you got a boyfriend?
- Yeah, actually, I'm engaged. - Unlikely.
So where are you guys from?
Where do you hang your hat, as it were.
- Behind the wheel of that bus. - Really?
- Full-timer, U.S.A. - Really?
Well, how do Moon, Earl and not Earl go to school?
Home school.
I hope you don't find this next question too personal...
...but how do you? - Make a living? Various ways.
Let's see. We made $25,000 when we turned in Mary Jo's stepdad.
In prison he's getting help he needs.
Oh, and I almost forgot, Mary Jo makes a living.
I mean, she earns $60,000 a year without ever leaving that bus.
Really? Hooking?
- Funny. - I'm a mobile sales rep for Happy Max.
Y'all seen the infomercials for our musical car horns?
- No, I don't think we have. - No.
Billy White Shoes, blow that horn.
- Watch this. - Wait for it.
I love it every time.
Wow, that's fantastic. That was...
Jamie, are you a stay-at-home mom?
- Yes. - When there's not a sale.
Let me hook you up with Happy Max.
I got a rep bag in the bus.
Plus, I represent Lovely Lily Beauty Products.
- Mary Jo's a trained cosmetologist. - lf you're still here tomorrow...
...I'm going to give you a complete, free total makeover.
A $39 package absolutely free.
- Oh, that would be good, honey. - No.
You know what, I'm gonna work on you the whole day tomorrow.
- There you go, little lady. - Oh, I'm sorry, I don't eat meat.
I heard you talking. That's why I brought you this here.
- There ain't no meat in it. - Oh, no meat?
You here that? No meat. Thank you. That's lovely.
That's right. It's all organs.
Deer organs. They're fresh too.
I run him over this morning. The rest of it's curing in the bedroom.
But the stomach, brains and pancreas, we just toss that into the stew...
...because in this heat, it doesn't keep.
- Bathroom. - Little lady...
- There's my girl. - Dad, can we please go?
Yes. You know, thank you so much for the invitation.
This has been great. A lot of fun.
Dad, listen.
This is kind of our family theme song.
Kids, come on. Get up there, go, go. Hurry up, get the... You know.
Oh, they're gonna love this.
Little Mommy's got a whole song-and-dance thing worked out.
- Oh, that's wonderful. - Come on, Moon, come on.
- Here I go. Thank you, darling. - Thank you.
- Oh, yeah. - Line up the way we practiced.
I never grow tired of that song. Last time I heard it I was buck-naked...
...in a field with a road flare. - Dad.
Yes. Big travel day tomorrow.
- Where y'all headed? - Away.
Mount Watson in Colorado.
- Just fantastic to have met you both. - Same here.
- Hope we see you again. - How about breakfast tomorrow?
- Bagels and deer testicles? - Oh, yeah, she's funny, just like you.
We'd have breakfast, but we're early risers.
- Well, us too. Six a.m. work for you? - We'll be long gone by then.
Yeah, trust us.
Bob? Bob?
- Let's go, let's go. Bob? - Yeah, baby.
- Oh, friendly folks. - Yeah, they're nice people.
- Hi, Mr. Munro. - Hi, Billy. I'm just...
- You sure got a nice one. - What?
That's a nice laptop.
Oh, thanks. What are you doing up?
I have a sleep disorder. I haven't slept since I was 5.
So you just wander around the campground.
Yeah, I don't really mind. It's the only time I have alone.
Well, see you.
Oh, okay.
- Morning. - Good morning, Mr. Munro.
- Come on. Come on, let's go. - It's 5:30.
The Gornickes.
Bob, a little help.
Little help? Cassie?
There's movement. She... She's moving.
Carl, let's get going.
Let's move it, let's move it. Bob, gun it.
Carl. Cass, what's our status?
She's out the door. She's coming. Mayday, mayday, she's coming!
Come on. Let's go, let's go. Go, go, go!
- Come on! - It's in gear, but it's not moving.
- The wheel! - This stupid pop-out thing.
Hurry, Mom, she's coming!
Come on, come on, come on.
Will you move this son of a bi...
Hey!
They are early risers.
I'm going a whole 12 miles an hour.
Then pass him.
Kids, leave him alone. He's not that good a driver.
Really.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
- Come on. - Bob.
Bob. Bob. Bob.
Bob.
All right.
- Okay. All right. - Thanks.
- Hey, guess what. - What?
We need gas.
And I really have to go to the bathroom.
You know we have one of those.
Yeah, but after my last little shower of sadness...
Okay, okay, do what you have to do.
I've got an ICBM coming.
If there's a poop fairy, I can make a lot of money.
I could be a while, baby. It's an 80-gallon tank.
Dad, you in here?
Carl, I just need a minute.
Sure, only the RV's rolling away.
Be right out.
- Hey, Bob. - Travis.
Yeah, I think you've got a little problem with your vehicle.
I'm no expert...
...but it's your parking-gear interlock and your emergency brake.
- How did you? - It's a miracle.
We pulled in the second it started rolling away.
Isn't that something? Wanna hear about the time...
...Jesus saved us from a tornado? - It's great.
I'd love to, but I was in the little boys' room...
...taking care of business when Carl interrupted...
...but Jamie would love to hear it.
Well, it seems just like yesterday.
Thank you.
I don't wanna get too big, you know.
- I mean, I don't want to look freakish. - No.
- What is this? - It's a list of places...
...between here and Colorado that sell organic health food.
- I got it last night off the Internet. - Oh, that was really thoughtful.
- What are you listening to? - Nothing.
So Billy was blown right out of that tree.
Right before he hit the ground, from out of nowhere...
...comes this queen-size Simmons mattress...
...slides right under him and cushions his fall.
Saved his life. Plus, we needed the mattress.
I have a bad back.
So you folks wanna join us for breakfast?
- We... - Ate.
Mr. Munro, I was just telling Earl and Moon...
...about that neat laptop you were using.
- When were you using a laptop? - At work, all the time.
- I was just telling him... - When did he see you?
You know, we'd love to join you for breakfast.
- Somebody's ripe. - Welcome to my world.
You guys go on in, get that table. We'll be right there.
All right. Come on, kids.
- We're ditching them? - Absolutely.
- Okay. - Kids, move.
So because you told them we were early risers...
...we had to get up at 5:30...
...to avoid the Gornickes... - Right.
...which we managed not to do anyway...
...because you refused to use the bathroom on the RV that you rented.
You're determined to have a bad time, aren't you?
We all are, Dad.
Not me. I embrace every challenge.
Honey, maybe they just got some bad news and had to leave.
You're a sweet woman, Mary Jo. It's what I love about you.
But them folks ditched us.
Oh, Trav, honey, pull over. Let's pull over.
He looks like a folk singer.
- Climb aboard. - Hello there.
- How you doing, buddy? - Sir.
Welcome to the Gornicke bus.
You a folk singer?
Cass, can you turn on the oven for me?
I am so bored.
I could actually throw up from how bored I am.
I brought games. Sorry!, Monopoly, Twister.
- Come on, it'll be fun. - Fun.
Did you turn on the oven?
- No. - I'll do it.
- Raccoon in the oven! - Oh, please. No.
Don't open it.
Did you take out the roast from last night?
- I guess not. - What's the plan?
Give him Carl. Maybe he'll eat him.
Give him you. He's on the South Bitch Diet.
- Good one. - Okay, hey.
Hey, come on. Don't you see what the raccoon's doing?
He's playing head games. He wants to divide and conquer us.
We have to hang together, stay strong.
- Just get rid of it. - Just me?
- Yeah. - Okay.
Come on, Blue. There's coons in there.
- Come on, boy. - Bob.
- Go get him, boy. - Bob.
Just kidding.
I'm going in.
Is anyone gonna stop me?
"Dad, don't. The raccoon might have rabies"?
Nothing? Not a word?
Not really.
- Daddy? - Yeah, baby.
Don't hurt him.
I am entering the RV.
Still no sign.
I'm going towards the oven door.
I'm opening the ov...
Oh, my God!
There's more than one!
You guys, he's just joking around.
Get back.
Back. Back! Back!
You hideous...
We need a new plan.
All right, let's go. You're off the Gornicke bus.
I didn't steal it. I found it.
Well, now you lost it.
That's why they didn't come to breakfast.
He lost his computer, he needs it. They went off frantic to find it.
I was quick to think the worst.
I'm filled with chagrin.
Oh, honey.
- What is that? - It's a stink bomb.
Got it from the guy in the office. Cost me $175.
I can get this for five bucks online, I know it.
You're gonna set that off in the RV?
He assured me it's not toxic. Just noxious, like Grandpa Ted.
Don't litter.
Suck on this, Rocky.
Yeah!
Run, critters.
Yeah, there's more where that came from, you little bandits.
Yeah!
I'm not so ill-equipped to handle an emergency as some people may think.
- No one said you were ill-equipped. - You know it, baby.
How long does this last?
Up to six hours.
It's a beautiful evening. Let's sit outside and enjoy nature.
Why don't we huddle under the awning?
Oh, we can't. Dad tore it off back in Nevada.
Well, why don't we just get underneath the umbrella?
Oh, that's right. Dad fed it to the raccoons.
- Please, try the office again. - No, he's an idiot.
He won't let us in. He charged me $70 for these bags.
What about that bar we passed on the way up here?
- Yeah, Dad, pizza. - And a roof.
No, it's dark out there. Besides, those raccoons could be waiting.
Hey! I can see it. It's just down there.
Come on, I'm starving.
- Bob? - It's a bad idea.
It's just down the...
Carl!
Carl, we're coming!
Bob!
Mom!
Jamie!